Dealing with Insanity

Introduction

This is a blog post concerning how idiotic, life can be with an individual, jewelry customer , who lacks the mental stability, necessary to function within reality and sits behind a keyboard, lashing out like a child, whenever someone does not do what she desires.

I had a customer who desired not only multiple free items, once I posted an offer concerning, purchase one and get one of your choice free, in addition to requesting a custom wire woven pendant and dictating all the creative license terms.

Now these issues mentioned are not the crime. What the crime is, deals with an over abundance of messages, snide remarks, unrealistic demands and more.

This is simply a log of the constant flow of idiocy.

********************************

Part One

I had to jog my memory a bit, to remember how this person entered my life and jewelry work. I posted in an auction group and that was how this relationship began.

I do not generally participate in too many Facebook groups, due to the simple fact, that some are inhabited by individuals who will try to make your life hell. It always starts out positive, however one must have or develop a thick skin, to participate and share in a  world of harsh competition. I say harsh, only because many can have the same idea/s and once executed, one opens one’s self up to any form of both positive and negative.

I am changing the name of the individual in this scenario. Not because I genuinely care for the person, but to protect myself.

**********************************

Part Two~A

I had two pendants on the auction site and was met with a good deal of praise for my work and the bidding began. It should have remained on the site itself, however it elicited a barrage of behind the scenes private messaging and a customer from hell was born.

I like to make people happy. I like to create and sell something to an individual knowing they are pleased with the purchase. I will easily adjust lengths and clasps or closures. I will not change my necklace design adding beads and more, just because someone wants to redesign my piece. This was not met with great satisfaction.

The individual, we will rename,”Gritty”, wanted to dictate her own vision into, my vision and this was not a positive attribute, for a piece of work that took hours to create and was not a custom design, in the first place. (We will however, touch upon the “custom” design later in this blog.)

Gritty did not win either of the auctions, however desired to purchase jewelry from me and this is a copy of one of the initial private message encounters. Prior to this, she had publicly, carried on a chat, viewed by many. (The public chat is mentioned in her text.)The chat was not my choice, it was hers and not my fault, that she carried it on continually out in the open. I did not save that chat. Bear in mind also, that this whole scenario took about two hours of time.

*********************************

Part Two~ B

Gritty had set her sights on a pendant in my ETSY shop, however she informed me that she is disabled and could not pay that price. She really wanted that pendant necklace and because I have a huge heart, I wanted to bring some joy to her, by reducing the pendant price. I had no idea that I was being scammed until recently, when I could see how many pieces she was actually purchasing through-out the months. Please note that the title of the item included the word: GLASS. I bring this up only because it was a red flag in the conversation, I passed over.

The Conversation ensues:

I can’t find you on ETSY is your shop under a different name?
Thanks so much
Gritty
Cali Wild Violet Designs
I check my page daily and will respond to any requests, ASAP.
Thanks for stopping by!
JUL 31ST, 6:23PM

Cali Wild Violet Designs
I see you found it..I am sorry I was delayed..Do you have a price
you might be comfortable with on the Glass Cab necklace ???

Gritty
No I don’t if you want 80 that’s what you should get for it, you be
the one to say how low you are willing to go. I am disabled and
own a ton of jewelry and I string and don’t know how to wire wrap
pendants but I can make bracelets and necklaces with the simple
wrap to keep then together I have at least 40 cabs why I don’t
know and thousands of beads I haven’t been into making it for a
while but hope to get back to it. I thought that was real turquoise
until I read it was a glass bead. I have tons of real turquoise
passed down from mom and grandmother and bought sever
myself
You let me know I really don’t need it but thought it was very
pretty
Thanks so much
Gritty

Cali Wild Violet Designs
I never know…I do this more for the joy than anything…I would go
to $50 for that one..
Thank You for your compliments tho.. ??

Gritty
I can afford that but can I have it 16.5″ long is that ok? Does it
come with the earrings or do I buy them separately. First I have to
see if she outbid me on the read one I can’t afford both so I have
to go look ok thanks so much

Cali Wild Violet Designs
Yes…I can make it 16.5″ and I put it on deactivate just in case….I
like making people Happy!!! I will be back in just a bit. Have to
get dinner on table and will return in half hour… ??
You also get to pick out a free necklace if you purchase from
me…I will reduce the price on the one on ETSY if you decide and I
have some free ones on my FB page…back in a bit..

Cali Wild Violet Designs
no earrings, as I rarely make them with the wire woven
pendants..sorry about that.
JUL 31ST, 9:13PM

Cali Wild Violet Designs
my mistake cause I am tired..yes earrings..
AUG 1ST, 7:35AM

Cali Wild Violet Designs
https://www.etsy.com/listing/468635301/stunning-blues-
glass-cabochon-and?ref=related-0
AUG 2ND, 1:19AM

Gritty
I am going to feel jipped if I do not received a free necklace with
the blue one I bought today. That has to be at least one more
available that I can get. I wouldn’t have bought another pendant if
I knew I wasn’t going to get a free one with it. I will not take
anymore of your time I just wanted to let you know how I am
feeming
AUG 2ND, 5:54AM

Cali Wild Violet Designs
Do you understand how much time, I took to try and make you
happy yesterday. I reduced the price of the one necklace on ETSY
that was $80 to $50 and included the crazy lace agate necklace in
that box. The crazy lace agate was a $25 stone. The Blue Glass
Cab that you purchased to receive that was a $30 cabochon, with
four hours of weave on it that normally should be priced at $20 an
hour. The Blue Glass Cabochon, that you asked to have me change
out the chain on is a $29 Glass Cab with 3 or 4 hours of weave on
and I am changing out the leather. In addition, I have adjusted all
the lengths for you. I offered you an endless number of choices
and you said, you did not want any of them. I have sold you two
pendants at discounts and like I said, you are getting the one free,
that went out with the mail and the first purchase, yesterday. How
and in what manner have I possibly “Jipped” you? Most sellers
would never offer something free with every purchase, let alone
one purchase.

Cali Wild Violet Designs
I have refunded your money for the recent blue cab purchase and
now you will not feel jipped.
AUG 2ND, 10:59AM

Gritty
After I had said that I wish I could have taken it back it was late
and I was exhausted. I would not have felt jipped because you
took 30.00 off of the pendant I loved so much but you didn’t have
to refund the money. I feel very badly that I was the one you
wasted all that time on yesterday. I guess you don’t want me
buying in your shop anymore and I cannot blame you. I am very
sorry for causing these feelings between us I never meant to do
that’s. After I had done such a rude and thoughtless thing I
couldn’t sleep all night thinking about it. I am not the k mind of
person that says or does things like that I don’t know why I did it
or what came over me I am sincerely sorry for the trouble I caused
you because you are such a nice person and yes you did bend over
backwards to help me. I will still purchase the blue one as I
committed to for all the time and trouble I put you through

Cali Wild Violet Designs
I think it is best we part ways. I am not an unkind person either,
however I have a life here and I spent so much time and I was tired
as well. I have refunded your money for the blue glass cab from
yesterday. Thank You for your other purchase.

Gritty
Ok if that is how you feel I will no longer be involved in any way
with your shop
AUG 3RD, 7:56AM

Cali Wild Violet Designs
I am just saying…for now …this is best as it was too much of a
roller coaster and I have a lot going on, on this property….People
were watching that whole conversation yesterday and telling me,
that I should have just ended it, but I am a people pleaser…so I
tried…My one point, I will make to you, is that when you want a
piece of jewely, you should never tell ANY artist, to add beads or
otherwise…what a person creates is their statement and while I let
you go on….others felt it was rude…food for thought..
AUG 3RD, 7:20PM

Gritty
Boy I just can’t win I received my items today and they are
gorgeous even my husband loved them I know people could see
everything and I should have just shut my big mouth I can’t say I
am sorry enough because I got you upset and now I was rude, I
hope one of those people that I buy from all the time didn’t see it
but I
am sure she did. I have a lot going on too but that give me or
anyone for that matter to be inconsiderate of your time and your
feelings now the whole jewelry community is going to think I am a
big jerk that just makes my day. In the future I will not ask
questions only if it is to shorten something
Thanks again and I will leave you a glowing review
Gritty
AUG 3RD, 10:40PM

Cali Wild Violet Designs
I am not mad or upset with you …I was a little but what good does
that do us…it is all okay…
AUG 6TH, 7:16PM

Gritty
Just wanted to let you know going on a girls vacation next week
and taking both pendants you made

**************************************

Part Three~ The Custom Pendant Necklace

Gritty after viewing all the custom created work, using the Glass Cabochons, once again sought me out, since I did have her on my friends list on FB, as I do many customers.

She wanted a custom wire woven, glass cabochon for herself and purchased one from the designer for me to wrap. She had it shipped to me and the day, the very day, that it arrived, I created her custom pendant. It is beautiful.

While Gritty had desired to have a full say in this process, we discussed on private messenger, how this was going to happen and once again, duped by the notion, we had agreed upon me, being the artist and wire weaver, that I could create what she wanted to purchase.

This is the conversation, in which I have deleted addresses and paypal. Lapses in conversation with just a name, were due to photographs inserted in the text and constantly having video chat requested.

The Conversation:

Conversation started Friday
Gritty
8/19, 4:42pm
Gritty
Have you seen some of the new ones? Do you only wrap in copper
because there is a black one with some turquoise a lot of different
colors do you use any silver at all? How much will it be if I buy the
stone and have it sent to you?
Thanks Gritty
Gritty
I have it down to three and out want one of I give you the numbers
of them will you tell me what you think? 1-#101295, 2-#101029
and 3-# 101190
Thanks I value your opinion
Gritty

I also love love 101250 but I like big pendants will that one cut it
or not?
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:39pm

Jennifer Haworth
Okay …looking now…and I have a bad cold as of this morning…so
give me a little time to do this…not as fast today as I normally
am…sigh.
Gritty
8/19, 5:40pm
Gritty
I have a cold too worse time of year to get one take your time
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:45pm
Jennifer Haworth
okay so here are the choices you have (I combined the photos to
make it easier for her to choose a cabochon)
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:45pm
Jennifer Haworth
It is easier to look at them all together…
middle one is 1 7/8″ and I have to find the others again to check
the size..but you said you wanted some purple a few days ago…let
me look at them again on my photo program.
Gritty
8/19, 5:47pm
Gritty
There was one more did you get 101250
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:47pm
Jennifer Haworth
just a sec..let me find that one..
Gritty
8/19, 5:49pm
Gritty
No hurry
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:50pm
Jennifer Haworth
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:50pm
Jennifer Haworth
That one has more purple in it…It is SO hard to choose….All of
her cabs are so fun to wrap and so gorgeous…
I think the middle one on the upper photos has the least purple
Bottom one I just pulled up is brightest
or the third one is bright too..
Gritty
8/19, 5:52pm
Gritty
Isn’t that pretty it has kind of a funny shaped top I want a large
pendant so the cab can’t be too small
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:54pm
Jennifer Haworth
The shapes are mostly like that…and once it is wrapped…you
know the frame takes over…It is $40 to wrap and with the cord or
chain, if I have chain on hand..
Gritty
8/19, 5:54pm
Gritty
You missed a video chat with Gritty.Call Back
Gritty
8/19, 5:55pm
Gritty
They are all so pretty I couldn’t decide I love the black one but
wrapping it in copper would make it even darker done in copper
Gritty
8/19, 5:55pm
Gritty
You missed a call from Gritty.Call Back
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:55pm
Jennifer Haworth
Everyone hits that video chat…and I have no video or chat on this
thing…lol
Gritty
8/19, 5:55pm
Gritty
0:05
Gritty
8/19, 5:56pm
Gritty
Sorry what am I suppose to do when you do that I have never done
that before
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:56pm
Jennifer Haworth
I just decline…A lot of people accidentally hit that thing…I am use
to it…
Gritty
8/19, 5:58pm
Gritty
I think 101250 is the one I want they don’t get much prettier than
that
Gritty
8/19, 5:58pm
Gritty
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:58pm
Jennifer Haworth
that is the last one…right???
Gritty
8/19, 5:58pm
Gritty
This one
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:58pm
Jennifer Haworth
oh yea..it is gorgeous
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 5:59pm
Jennifer Haworth
Okay…well…you just have to make sure she knows…you are
sending it here..once it is here, I will let you know and start
weaving and send it next day….Like I said..it is $40 once it is
done and I will pay shipping…no biggie..and with her cabs..I use
my boxes to prevent damage…
Gritty
8/19, 6:00pm
Gritty
I am going to buy it will she send it to you or should I get it and
mail it to you that just seems kind of stupid to do don’t
You
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 6:01pm
Jennifer Haworth
Now if you want a white leather or specific color…I might have to
order that…but my leather person is fast…even tho, she is in NY
Yes …she will send it to me..
That is how the last person did it too….and almost everyone of
those ones I posted were custom orders.
She has my address, however….go ahead and give it to her, if she
needs it…I buy a lot from (Supplier/Designer).
Gritty
8/19, 6:06pm
Gritty

8/19, 6:07pm
Gritty
I think purple turquoise or the the darker blue or if you want to
put it on a copper chain that is fine too. Ok you go and rest and
feel better I won’t be awake much longer couldn’t sleep last night
stay resting plenty of fluids so you don’t get dehydrated can you
tell I had children now they are 43 and 44
Thank God my daughter was a tough one sleep tight
I will get it now so no one else scoops it up
Gritty
Jennifer Haworth
8/19, 6:08pm
Jennifer Haworth
I have a 35 yr old son….Okay…I will let you know once it gets
here…I will go ahead and order some leather anyway…so I have it
on hand..16.5″😉 GET SOME REST!!!!
Gritty
8/19, 6:09pm
Gritty
You too
Saturday
Jennifer Haworth
8/20, 7:40am
Jennifer Haworth
While I have set my price at $40 for the weave, the more details
you add to it, such as beads and so forth, the price is going to go
up. For now, let me do the artistic work and you will like what I
do. I have ordered leather in colors you specified and some other
chain, so my expenses are already out there, to just make a beauty
for you….Just relax and let me do the rest.
Gritty
8/20, 8:09am
Gritty
Ok you are the artist not me do whatever you wish
Wednesday
Jennifer Haworth
8/24, 9:15pm
Jennifer Haworth
(PayPal Info) or I can invoice you….whichever is easier.
Jennifer Haworth
8/24, 9:20pm
Jennifer Haworth
If you do not like it, I will reimburse you for the cab and sell
it…Everyone else loves it…
Gritty
8/24, 11:37pm
Gritty
Is this it it is beautiful big love love it the wrap is perfect and I
noticed you have purple leather. Did y o u send me an invoice so I
can pay you?
Thank you so much I will make sure I tell everyone who wrapped
this beautiful piece of art
Today
Jennifer Haworth
5:46am
Jennifer Haworth
I need your paypal to invoice
Jennifer Haworth
6:04am
Jennifer Haworth
Your Invoice for the custom made cabochon pendant has been
sent. I had your paypal address in my paypal file.
Jennifer Haworth
7:11am
Jennifer Haworth
Payment is due immediately. Thank You for your business…

*******************************************

Part Four~ ETSY  Messages

While I was busy, creating a beauty for this customer, I had no idea that the agreement reached had changed. This was a habit with Gritty. I had no idea that I had an over abundance of messages on ETSY, a site that had nothing to do with this purchase or design request. I was busy creating and in record time, to please this person.

I finished and posted the pendant late that night and it was met with great praise. It was not until the next day, that I looked on ETSY and saw all the messages.

Gritty had changed her mind and decided, I was not going to design her work, the way she wanted it. In my head, once again, I felt betrayed, lied to and the roller coaster of her insanity ensued.

The Conversation:

(The first set of messages, which is unsolicited and bizarre, to say the least. I did not ask her for this or her analogy of any of my work. )

A.

1.
Sender: Gritty Date: 11 hours ago 10:18pm EDT
Message: Listing : http://www.etsy.com/listing/474464163/purple-
tones-gorgeous-glass-cabochon

This whole wrap and pendant are beautiful the other ones you ha e
just done are pretty Utah not my style I loved the wrap on the
green one I mention a while ago.
Thanks
Gritty

2.Sender: Gritty Date: 11 hours ago 10:19pm EDT
Message: Listing : http://www.etsy.com/listing/460874308/lively-
greens-glass-cabochon-neclace

This looks way too complicated for my taste
Gritty

3.Sender: Gritty Date: 11 hours ago 10:21pm EDT
Message: Listing : http://www.etsy.com/listing/453131236/vintage-
turquoise-stone-leather-necklace

This is a beautiful wrap.and it has to be less complicated than the
ones you are doing now

Sender: Jennifer Haworth Date: 8 hours ago 12:37am EDT
Message: That is extremely complicated..time consuming.

4. Sender: Gritty Date: 11 hours ago 10:22pm EDT
Message: Listing : http://www.etsy.com/listing/465274465/stunning-
blue-green-glass-cabochon

This is pretty too

5. Sender: Gritty: Date: 11 hours ago 10:24pm EDT
Message: Listing : http://www.etsy.com/listing/449090078/gorgeous-
ooak-glass-cab-leather-necklace
Love this one too so I gave you several options please do it like
one of them simple not too busy and difficult for you to do
Thanks so much
Gritty

6.Sender: Gritty: Date: 10 hours ago 10:37pm EDT
Message: Listing : http://www.etsy.com/listing/472164129/blue-
cream-one-of-kind-glass-cabochon

This wrap is very nice c e too

7. Sender: Gritty Date: 4 hours ago 4:48am EDT
Message: Listing : http://www.etsy.com/listing/474464163/purple-
tones-gorgeous-glass-cabochon

I really love this one too it is girgeous

Jennifer Haworth
Jennifer Haworth
I feel that it is very important to address this note to me on my
ETSY account.

B.The next morning, I sent this message from my FB account.

Sender: Gritty: Date: 15 hours ago 10:15pm EDT
Message: If I am having this wrapped as a custom order from you
then I feel I have a say and tell you a wrap love. What if you spend
tons of time doing it and I don’t like it if you won’t work with me
on this then you can send the stone to me and charge me for the
shipping.
Gritty
12:01pm
Gritty
What’s there to address I talked to a very well known artist and
she said I should say what I would like after all it was for me and
you don’t know what I like. You had to post on Facebook to make
me feel like an idiot I don’t think I did anything wrong obviously
you do so I guess this is where we part ways I won’t buy or ask you
to wrap anything else just not be a customer any more ok with you
I am sure
Gritty
Jennifer Haworth
1:31pm
Jennifer Haworth
Gritty, I have plenty of customers. I did the pendant for way below
what I should have charged out of the kindness of my heart and
for the record. NO ONE would have put up with this and I have
been in the art industry for 40 years, published and a writer. I
doubt that you told your …so called “well known artist
acquaintance”, that you have messaged me over 75 times in the
past couple of months (saved) and that I bent over backwards
trying to make you happy, or that you insisted on something free,
when already had a free gift. Enjoy your purchase. I have been told
by numerous individuals that, this is a pattern with you….Have a
great life…

*************************************

Part Five:

I assumed we were done. I have shipped off the pendant necklace, wrapped in tissue, secured in a box, tied with a ribbon, wrapped that box in bubble wrap and put it all in a bubble wrap envelope, doubled over, with fragile, handle with care stickers on it. She has paid and I am done. Or so, I thought.

I have blocked this individual, however did not fully ban on my FB business page. This morning I had a snide remark in messages on the FB business page. I took a snap shot of this and banned the person from contacting me. The message read:

Gritty: Not receiving messages, how childish

Time stamped: 1:24 AM

****************************************

Part Six: The Conclusion or I can only Hope.  (This is the message I sent today 08/26/16)

I thought we were done and yet, I had to send this one final message in hopes, that she will seek out professional help for her mental instability.

Date:2 hours ago10:21am EDT

Message:Stay off my Facebook page, which you are now banned on. Stay off of my ETSY. I have fulfilled any obligation to you, considering your desire to have a custom wire woven pendant and fulfilled it far below actual cost.

Did you pay a fee for me to wrap up front? NO…Did we discuss this prior? YES. I do not work for you. I work for myself. I am not here to be constantly insulted by your attitude and what YOU feel YOU deserve. At best, I charge $60 to do a custom wrap and once again, gave you a good deal. Did you pay for the additional order of leather? NO. Did you have to pay shipping fees? NO. Until you sit down and work a weave and do the work yourself, you have no idea what so ever, goes into creating these pieces…Ironically, everyone else does. I have been more than kind to you and I have put up with all of these massive messages. I am not surviving off what you have paid and I am not here to take your abuse. I tried to just be the good person, who accepts that some people have issues, whether they are mental or physical. We are done.

*************************************
The End….I can only hope. Otherwise, it is, to be continued and I hope it is not.
SandyPen1.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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BeFunky CollageRusticLapis1Rhodonite1I use Facebook for almost all my sales.

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